What a Week (It's Only Wednesday)
A midweek recap of stories and feelings.
We’re only halfway through but it’s been a wild week. I’m breaking down a few of my favorite stories along with my very strong, obviously professional opinions about Her Royal Highness, the Princess of Wales, AKA Gone Girl.
Stanley is Coming for Your Man
If you’ve been out in the wild terrain of the great American suburb recently, or witnessed its denizen’s behavior on social media, you know about Stanley. Stanleys are cups. They cost $45 and they’re apparently status symbols; sought-after accessories that communicate to the world that you love water, among other things.
Is the phenomenon of the Stanley symbolic of western civilization’s decline? Clearly. But its owners, HAVI, aren’t quite done with their global domination campaign.
What’s missing? According to a report from The Wall Street Journal’s Katie Deighton, it’s men! Yes, that percentage of the population that’s often overlooked when it comes to the “luxury” accessories industry is ready for some attention (and hydration).
“He’s not a fashionista, but he cares about how he’s put together. He’s into grooming and how he looks, and into sports,” Stanley’s vice president of global brand marketing, Jenn Reeves, told Deighton about their target customer. He sounds awesome!
The story goes on to explain that the Bonobos-wearing average American male needs Stanley to step in and introduce a “sleeker” bottle design. Much like Bic's famous pens “for her,” we can look forward to “water bottles for dudes” in the future. That’s progress.
WSJ Link
Two New Anna Delveys Debut
A wise and gossipy friend shared Joseph Bernstein’s in-depth look at Ashwin Deshmukh’s shady practices in the world of NYC hospitality in The New York Times. Turns out the managing partner of Superiority Burger and a partner at Jean’s (please stop talking about the burger) is a serial swindler who (so far) has avoided serious charges. It’s a classic once-every-few-years story about New York ambition and how easy it is to fall for a seemingly well-connected scenester. NYTimes gift link.
Similarly, New York Magazine ran their latest grifter feature about a man named Omar Khan, who allegedly scammed a handful of elite oenophiles.
“The $9.5 Million Dollar Hangover” by James D. Walsh examines a world where wine tastings cost $25,000 (we’re not talking about an afternoon trip to Wölffer Estates here). Central to the story is a hedge fund billionaire who “races Ferraris, spends summers aboard his 150-foot double-masted yacht, and underwrites the search for ancient shipwrecks on the floor of the Adriatic” and was ripped off by Khan.
It’s hard to feel bad for these guys - my own hedge funder family member said, “I hate all the O.G. Renaissance people.” For a bit of schadenfreude, it’s worth a read.
Kate-gate is a PR Case Study
By now, I firmly believe that every single internet-accessing person on the planet has cemented their own theory surrounding the case of the missing Kate. At a fabulous dinner party in celebration of Nowruz with some infinitely hip people last night, it was the single common conversation.
“It’s a body double in the farm shop video.” “She definitely got a face-lift.” “Maybe she’s just digging in her heels, refusing to bend to the will of the people.” Debating the Princess of Wales’ whereabouts is the latest collective distraction from the shit show of a geopolitical environment we’re all living in.
Harmless fodder or something more sinister aside, one thing is certain. Kate needs a new publicist.
The media landscape is like that demon creature from “Stranger Things.” What starts out as innocuous, maybe even cute, can quickly grow into a beast that kills Samwise Gamgee right in front of Veronica Sawyer.
In communications, you can’t just wait to see if things blow over. The minute the online theories begin to mount, you have to get in front of it. And by the time said theories sweep through social media, newspapers, and broadcast news, you can’t then make small chips at it with a cute family photo. Duh.
The royal family is famously stubborn (who’s your fave Crown Queen? Imelda is the only right answer) and this new post-Elizabeth iteration is being seriously tested this year. The idea of a more transparent family led by King Charles quickly evaporated and Kate clearly shares her family’s penchant for closed doors. If (more likely, when) she shows up on Easter morning like nothing happened, I will audibly lose it. Even more so if it’s actually a “big bang moment” as The Daily Beast is reporting.
She should give Amanda Silverman a call.
If you made it this far, bless you. I’ll be continuing with media recaps like this going forward. How frequently you ask? Much like the royal family, I’m not telling you shit.